The most arrogant thought I’ve ever had

Feeling totally on top of the world today and thought, “I am on top of the world. Demographically, I may not reign supreme but white men do. And they’re falling at my feet, tripping over each other to get to me. Then honestly, who’s really in charge? The white man? Or the woman they’d do anything for?”

It’s kinda true and also really messed up at the same time. But I guess we’re all entitled to really cocky thoughts sometimes? Forgive me! Haha! I swear I’m usually crazy humble.


In and out of love

I love quickly. I unlove quickly.

I am intense. I like it that way.

Somehow I’m still not too jaded to throw myself into a relationship, but to any potential suitors, please be warned that while I am all in, make myself available, and love hard, I am super quick to retract it all.

If you can’t appreciate and respect my generous ways, I’m out as quickly as I swept in. There are plenty of people in line who will reciprocate my intensity with pleasure. 

So don’t get too comfortable. Don’t abuse my leniency and love because I’ll be over that shit and on to the next one by the end of the day.

Disappoint me once…

…I’ll forgive it. Disappoint me again and you had better plan some grand gesture to attempt repair the damage because I’ve got a foot and a half out the door.

So go ahead, explain yourself.

I’m a greedy attention whore

Of course, I say that about myself with love and a touch of sarcasm too. I have been discovering over the past few days, as the guy I’m seeing is starving me for attention, that my primary need in a romantic relationship is quality time.

According to my Five Love Languages (a wonderful and helpful theory on how people prefer to express and recognize love) quiz, I strongly favor quality time.

I also took the Myers-Briggs test to continue my glimpse into this preference of mine. I’m an ESTJ and here’s what Thought Catalog says about an ESTJ’s Love Language preference:

I’m head over heels for the guy I’m seeing now but when he chooses to spend his time alone (when I actually have precious free time open) it’s devastating to me. I never realized how much I want to eat up every moment of my romantic interest’s time or how insulting I find it when I’m not prioritized in someone’s schedule. This is kind of mind blowing to me.

Divorce eminent, I started dating

It’s pretty much the nightmare I expected. Not in the way I expected maybe but here’s what’s resonating with me:

Divorce papers have been filed

Yup. We went there. The hearing is at the end of August, and then it’ll be final. It’s been two years separated and it was time to make it official. There is no hope for reconciliation. We’re peaceful. It’s crazy how matter-of-fact divorce can be.

That first anniversary while separated

How do you handle that crap?